Birth Pangs

Well lately I have been very busy.  I have been doing homework non-stop and on top of that I have had two job interviews outside of the state in the last two weeks.  I am so thankful that Thanksgiving is coming along, but then again I have lots of work to still do during that time. 

Here is the list of homeworks I am doing or have to do:

Homework #3 for Plant Design, this is an assignment to prove my professor's point of how much engineers are better than business majors.  he gave us a business major's semester long project and gave us ten days to do it.  Isn't that nice. 

Plant Design Pre-Senior Project, this is the same professor giving us a pretty big group assignment that is pretty difficult and time consuming.  Does anybody want to help me size and cost pumps, compressors, heat exchangers or distallation columns? 

CHEG 4830 Term Paper, I have to do a term paper on radioactive on-line sensors.  Most of you don't even know what those things are.  Some of you probably think that I am gonna harm the environment with this term paper, the only environment that will be harmed is my precious little eco-system called Markland. 

I also have a test in Statics and Mechanics on Tuesday. 

Well that is all that is going on in my school world.  The other things going on in my world are me trying to figure out what to do with my life.  I will be leaving the college world behind in August.  I have been interviewing for job positions and I have been trying to figure out where to go.  My biggest concern in this matter is where I will end up.  I want to be where God wants me and I want that to be the number 1 priority.  This is where it gets complicated.  I don't know where God wants me, and I have this desire to go work in industry for a while.  On top of this I have an increasing desire to pursue the arts that is getting stronger and stongerdaily.  I also have this feeling that I am approaching something monumental in my life that God is preparing me for.  And the thing about that is other people are seeing it too.  And others are talking and bringing me messages about it, and telling me that God is getting ready to explode in my life and that they want to be there when it happens.  And all this is happening at the same time of me being a complete idiot and screw up.  So what do I do.  I have already given up so many of my earthly desires.  I am losing all of my old affections.  I no longer care about being in a relationship or about entertainment or human recognition.  I actually am beginning to hate the compliments of people.  The praise of people is merely a vanity, and I can never trust the words of some people especially when I know they may be words they say to cover up their jealousy and how much they actually despise me.  They are words that I cannot trust.  I have so many things growing inside of me and I want them to all burst out.  It just seems like right now I am experiencing birth pangs of something great.  And I am really wondering about what happens when the birth actually occurs.  Will it change the course my life is on?  Will I even go to work in industry?  And that is where I am at. 

I really need to be focused and single minded at this time.  I need focus more than anything right now.  Focus to fulfill my many school responsibilities and focus to seek God about my future.  That is all.    

Cool

Questions

Questions... they alone have gotten me to where I am at today?

I don't know who began asking me questions first.  It was probably the Holy Spirit, but some where along the way I started asking myself questions.

Question:  If the Holy Spirit is like the wind how do we keep up with it?  If the Holy Spirit is truth how do we keep up with the truth?  Does truth make me uncomfortable?  pretty much all the time.  So what questions can I ask that will make me uncomfortable and make me get to where I need to be.  What questions can I ask to get me where the Spirit is?  If I really want the Holy Spirit, or if I really want to be close to Jesus what am I willing to do?  These are the types of questions I ask.  I have been doing it forever.   

Update #2

 So I am back in school and it is great.  Being in school feels like a vacation b/c I am not working as much.  I am doing a lot of stuff.  I am busy doing things for IV Crossroads.  I hold a bunch of different leadership positions, I also don't know what my official title is.  I am very busy.  Me and Brian played a show last week, and I think that we are planning on doing open mic nights and things of that sort to get ourselves out and playing.  School is good and work is good.  I am going to recieve a lot of financial aid this week and I am going to use it to pay off my credit card, to pay for rent and to buy an amp for my guitar.  I found this 1700 dollar amp for 1000 dollars so I may purchase that.  

The previous paragraph is what I am doing.  The things I am working on are starting men's accountability for IV and starting open air prayer and worship meetings.  I also want to get something going with evangilism training.  I really want to use this semester to glorify God and to extend his kingdom. 

This semester is going to be really hard I have 18 credits and I am doing a lot of things, but there are also a lot of things that I am not doing.  I am not watching much TV and I am not wasting much time.  This may be the most busy time ever in my life, but it really doesn't feel like it.  Jesus fills me up and then I try and go live.  My plan for this year is to get all of my affairs in order.  I want to graduate and I want to save money and pay off bills, I want to move into the supernatural, I want revival, I want to fall in love, I want to find a job and I want save money and I want to get better at the guitar.  I will probably do most of these things this year.  I really cannot guarantee falling in love but everything else is kind of set right in front of me so that I can do them. 

The desires I have are just so sweet, and they are mostly all atainable and they are things that I need to grow into and stuff like that.  With all of these desires I have to sacrifice things that are not as cool, like, tv and doing nothing, and maybe a little bit of sleep.  But it is worth it.  The one thing that occured to me before this year started was the story of Ester.  She was chosen to go through beauty treatment for a whole year before she could be with the king, and I think that this may be a year of "beauty training" so that I can be where I am called to be, wherever that may be. 

That is about all, don't be lazy and seek God.    

for fun

1.  the last person who held my hand.......
My lil brother Zeke

2. I am listening to...
nothing

3. I am dating...
CHEG 4600 and CHEG 4100 they don't know that I am cheating on them with the other and I hope they don't find out but you know it gets kind of hard to keep their books from being in my backpack at the same time. 

4. My best friend..
Mical aka Bucky,  the only Mike/Buck I know.  That's what makes it magical

5. My car is...

Parked outside in front of The bernhard center

6. I hate it when people...
leave me out of stuff

7. I'm always...
punching people in the face and nuts.  Sometimes at the same time.  This gets pretty hard when I go to sleep, b/c I often wake up with black eyes and sore nuts.

8. I have a secret crush on...
This really cool girl somewhere on Western Michigan's campus.  The only problem is I haven't found her.  So I talk to girls and I hope that they are really cool and always wonder if maybe they are cool but just nervous, but see its just difficult b/c the girl I really have a crush on, who is really cool, lives no where near me, which makes a real friendship difficult which makes my chances with her virtually non existent.   

9. My cellphone is...
chillin in my right pocket, you know in the smaller pocket that is commonly found in jeans.

10. When I wake up in the morning..
I pray until I believe that God has something for me that day worth getting up for immediately.

11. Before I go to bed at night...
I feel tired.

12. Right now I am thinking about...
my unfortunate predicament

13. Babies are...
ugly, but in a good way.  Cuz I would love to have a bunch of them one day, A whole bunch of ugly O's.  But they eventually get better looking and that's cool b/c I am a guy and my wife probably won't leave me with the baby until it starts to look like a human and not a monster

14. I get on MySpace...
once a week

15. Today was...
Saturday, where I tried to do homework but ended up doing this instead. I need to focus

16. Tonight I will...
Do homework and eat.

17. Tomorrow I will...
play guitar in church and do homework

18. I really want...
To see God's Kingdom


LAST:

1. Friend you saw:
Andy Strodtman

2. Talked to on the phone:
Mical

3. Person to text you?
BC

4. Today better than 2 days ago:
of course, I am two days better the person I was two days ago.

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:

Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?
prayed

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
yes, but I shouldn't let it bother me, the things that are bothering me are not worth my time and are giving influence to things that don't need to be influenced.

Q: What's the last movie you watched in theaters?
Simpson's: it was the best nap that I have had in a while.

Q: Do you smile often?
yes

Q: Do you wish upon stars?
nope

Q: Are you a friendly person?
yes

Q: When was the last time you cried?
i can't remember

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
i need to fall asleep!

Q: What do you hear right now?
i am talking on the phone with Meesch

Q: Does anything hurt right now?
my back, I need to see the chiropractor

Q: How many kids do you want/have?
at least 6.

1. Are you missing someone right now?:
I miss the Burnham's RA staff

2. Are you happy?:
Of course, I get to do CHEG 4600 homework and relearn all the stuff I forgot.  Please don't tell CHEG 4100. 

3. Are you sad?:
yeah, there are many things to be sad about.  But I am always joyful.

4. Are you bored?
No way, being bored is pretty close to being depressed

6. Are you nervous?:
No
7. Are you single?:
A single as a dollar bill

8. Are you tired?:
not yet

9. Are your parents still married?:
heck yes!

THIS SUMMER

1. Did you watch high school musical 2?
no but in Myrtle beach I was in the same room when Craig had it on

2. Did you go on vacation?
Yeah and my bossed told me I can't ever go on vacation again

3. Spend the night in a hotel?
yup

4. Did you go to any camps?
yeah LIT week at WWR

5. Did you have to take summer school?
nope

6. Did you get heartbroken?
no

7. Any fights with friends?
yeah me and Sid resulted to fistacuffs over something really stupid. 

8. Was your birthday over the summer?
In Australia it was

9. Did you go to any parties over the summer?
Heck yeah

10. Chill over at your friends house all night?
nope, what friends?

11. What illegal things did you do?:
I drive over the speed limit and go through yellow lights

12. How many surveys did you fill out?
none

13. Did you go over your phone minutes?
no i can't talk enough

14. Did you go shopping?
of course, I even went to IKEA

30. What was the most expensive restaurant that you went to over the summer?
Ben's Calabash.  It was the most I ever paid for food

31. Have you gotten your schedule for school yet?
yeah I did that in February

37. Did you hook up with anyone this summer?
no

38. Did you go see any new movies in the theatre?
yes